Memories, the personal analysis.

For me memories are something of a difficult subject, after losing a large chunk of memories at the age of 17-19 I can't quite remember (the irony) I have struggled to work out just who I am, and the whole university thing was to hopefully work that little question out.
I had apparently changed personality from before I had the memory loss, I had a problem with authority and always felt bullied, I remember that bit, its mainly because I remember taking things very personally back then, my teachers, work colleges and boss's were just to name a few of the prime examples.
Me and my father never had what would be called a great relationship (now we do, I think so anyway) for a few reasons, one, he himself had a lot going on at the time, and I was too naive and of course too stubborn to look at things through his perspective. 
This relationship must have had its turning point, because not from my memory but from the photo's I found of me as a young child (1-7 years old) 80% of the photos featured my father and I, mother was obviously the picture taker and not the participant, now, one could assume that she might have been a keen photographer, but this is untrue, she's never been on for photography and is a bit of a technophobe, dad was however the professional photographer, this makes me think that the pictures of me and him were in fact imposed by himself.
Even though me and mother have a very strong relationship (as do most boys as common psychoanalysis would show) it would appear that my father’s affection died sometime after 7 years of age, not many photos (that I could find) were taken of me after this age. Maybe something happened, I can’t remember but basically that’s the age the albums stop.
At a glance I remember a lot of negative things about the gap between the age of 7 to about 18, my memory is very bad around this time and maybe it’s because only the most prominent memories remain or maybe it’s the fact that my brain has just chosen to remember these memories I'm not sure. These bad memories probably are what subconsciously added to my bad relationship with my farther, and of course made things worse, and because I'm the kind of person to not mention things that bother me, I let it all boil up and obviously it will come to a head and large arguments will take place, the key things I have learnt from constant arguing is to learn understanding and patience, these, to me, are the two most definite reasons for any argument.
And I have become a very receptive person form it, I have my own weakness's and personality traits that I have been handed by genetics by my father, as he had been from his own.
We do learn from our parents and take the good elements and try to solve the bad, it’s our nature, but some things we cannot shift.
Memories for me have been distorted and abused by conversation with other people, who as I mentioned in an earlier post, manipulate memories with different view points. I'm sure that it’s my lack of a real past that has crafted me to be the person I am today, maybe for the better? Maybe not.
In the end it’s our past and our perception of the future that moulds us into the people we become, without an understanding we cannot accept our fates.

It's probably deemed quite profound, but I like to think of our pasts to be of little importance, when it's clear that they clearly are, I however mean on a spiritual level, I feel it might be considered a blessing in disguise to be freed from the shackles of our past, and to maybe create our own 'nicer' past to help us through our future.
For me memories are echoes of another life, the only way I can accept my future is to look forward to it with open arms and embrace what is thrown my way, past's may define us but it is wise to not let them control us.