Getting every thing working...

The Cooliris program is not as straight forward as I had originally anticipated and has been a big issue during this project. Cooliris itself is a good application and very useful for browsing your facebook and other web hosted items, but the second you want to view your own items it becomes different, for a start, with Cooliris you can view your own items off your hard drive and set folders to view etc, however, the second you want to embed a wall you need to consider many other factors, which until recently I was unaware of.

Firstly, you cannot (And believe me I've tried) view your own data from an external hard drive or on your PC when embedding Cooliris into the web page. To have your own content you need to supply the embedded wall with RSS feeds, which call from a server. 

So I called a friend and we set about creating a server to host the files on, this also threw up another problem, will the gallery space have internet? And how can I deal with the problem if they cannot acquire an internet connection? The answer is simply no, I cannot make this piece work without constant internet connection, it needs to receive RSS feeds from the Server to work, and there is no other way around this. Anyway after a few e-mails I'm still unsure what’s going on with connection I just have to hope everything is ok.

Next problem this aired, the Home Hub at my house is broken, so I have been using an older model until I get a replacement from BT, the replacement will not allow me to port forward through port 80 (and this basically means I cannot host a server at my house) so the same friend agreed to host it at his and make a VNC connection between mine and his laptop so we can check, edit and control/fix any issues with the exhibition in real time.

Now, we have set up the server up at the friend’s house, currently going through a few bug checks with the network and hope that this all goes well, the next part is making sure Cooliris calls from the right directories and displays the media on screen.

This is the last push to make sure everything goes to plan, but with so much that can go wrong I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

I just can’t believe that the home hub broke so close to the deadline, seems fate is really unhappy with me finally finishing my MA, but I'm afraid fate will just have to try harder.

THE OTHER SIDE OF MEMORY - Art works by Ridha Ridha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62PR2LcOdq4

This Video is interesting, she has used cubes as almost fluttering thoughts, connected through a sequence, and flowing in various directions as a memory does.
Pieces like "The Red Barrier" struck me as being prominent memories that were spurred by a war, later I discover that I'm right, she has endured Iraq during American occupation and the rise of the terrorists, most of her work was created while in exile.

This is an interesting way of documenting memory through feeling and visualization of something that is in fact vision-less.

I suppose I could have conceptualized the notion of memory and how it is stored, but I would have been losing out on some of the aspects I wanted to so badly preserve, firstly authenticity, with actual photographs and video I can determine that these events were not fabricated or censored. And in fact can rely on the information to be true, I also wanted this to be in essence another body extension project where I could use real footage, not manipulated so I could use the device as a secondary memory if I was to ever lose it, with the knowledge that others opinions of the events cannot alter the actual memory, as its data is separate from my own storage devices in my head.

It is vital that the piece, no matter how 'simplistic' it might appear to cover the basic needs of my memory recollection, ease of use, simplicity and access of photographic and video information has to be integrated with ease, also helpful if time lined as well as possible, this way searching for an event will be as easy as clicking mouse button and dragging until I discover the memory I want to re-cap on, also being able to just openly browse my memories will be much more effective than having to rely on factors to trigger memories, smells, places and people etc.

I think I can safely say that I deliberately avoided making this piece, a piece of art in the Contemporary sense of manipulating and breaking down the ideas of memory, you might argue that this piece is almost too practical to be considered a piece, but you'd be wrong, its art in the voyeuristic sense, its art in the way you can see the finished piece, myself and what I have become through the memories that sculpt us, that’s the true beauty to this piece, not its application but its own history within a history.

Memories, the personal analysis.

For me memories are something of a difficult subject, after losing a large chunk of memories at the age of 17-19 I can't quite remember (the irony) I have struggled to work out just who I am, and the whole university thing was to hopefully work that little question out.
I had apparently changed personality from before I had the memory loss, I had a problem with authority and always felt bullied, I remember that bit, its mainly because I remember taking things very personally back then, my teachers, work colleges and boss's were just to name a few of the prime examples.
Me and my father never had what would be called a great relationship (now we do, I think so anyway) for a few reasons, one, he himself had a lot going on at the time, and I was too naive and of course too stubborn to look at things through his perspective. 
This relationship must have had its turning point, because not from my memory but from the photo's I found of me as a young child (1-7 years old) 80% of the photos featured my father and I, mother was obviously the picture taker and not the participant, now, one could assume that she might have been a keen photographer, but this is untrue, she's never been on for photography and is a bit of a technophobe, dad was however the professional photographer, this makes me think that the pictures of me and him were in fact imposed by himself.
Even though me and mother have a very strong relationship (as do most boys as common psychoanalysis would show) it would appear that my father’s affection died sometime after 7 years of age, not many photos (that I could find) were taken of me after this age. Maybe something happened, I can’t remember but basically that’s the age the albums stop.
At a glance I remember a lot of negative things about the gap between the age of 7 to about 18, my memory is very bad around this time and maybe it’s because only the most prominent memories remain or maybe it’s the fact that my brain has just chosen to remember these memories I'm not sure. These bad memories probably are what subconsciously added to my bad relationship with my farther, and of course made things worse, and because I'm the kind of person to not mention things that bother me, I let it all boil up and obviously it will come to a head and large arguments will take place, the key things I have learnt from constant arguing is to learn understanding and patience, these, to me, are the two most definite reasons for any argument.
And I have become a very receptive person form it, I have my own weakness's and personality traits that I have been handed by genetics by my father, as he had been from his own.
We do learn from our parents and take the good elements and try to solve the bad, it’s our nature, but some things we cannot shift.
Memories for me have been distorted and abused by conversation with other people, who as I mentioned in an earlier post, manipulate memories with different view points. I'm sure that it’s my lack of a real past that has crafted me to be the person I am today, maybe for the better? Maybe not.
In the end it’s our past and our perception of the future that moulds us into the people we become, without an understanding we cannot accept our fates.

It's probably deemed quite profound, but I like to think of our pasts to be of little importance, when it's clear that they clearly are, I however mean on a spiritual level, I feel it might be considered a blessing in disguise to be freed from the shackles of our past, and to maybe create our own 'nicer' past to help us through our future.
For me memories are echoes of another life, the only way I can accept my future is to look forward to it with open arms and embrace what is thrown my way, past's may define us but it is wise to not let them control us.

Secrects of the mind, and just how memory effects us.

Book: 
(Social Memory and History, Anthropological Perspectives, Edited by Jacob J. Climo and Maria G. Cattell.)

(Extract from page 1)
"Without memory, groups could not distinguish themselves one from another, whether family, friends, governments, institutions, ethnic groups, or any other collectively, nor would they know whether or how to negotiate, fight, or cooperate with each other. From the simplest everyday tasks to the most complicated, we all rely on memories to give meaning to our lives: to tell us who we are, what we need to do, how to do it, where we belong, and how to live with other people."

This statement is horribly true, it’s quite possible that the memory is the single most important aspect to humans, without it we as a species would never have evolved in the social way we have today, it would be, as described in the extract completely devastating to become unable to grasp past experiences, we primarily learn all our abilities through this method, with memory also comes understanding and the knowledge to approach a situation differently than before.
Memory defines who we are, but also shapes us as a nation and as a world.
Without memory I believe we can be described as almost soulless, and would lead empty existences.
Of course memory alone cannot be responsible for our advanced evolution, but more so the understanding that comes side by side with memory, without understanding we could not analyse what makes something what it is, and with further analysis you can determine the factors behind the initial facts, giving us depth of thought, not only can questions like what is that tree, become clear, but also questions like why is that tree there, what drives it? It's this advanced thinking that has progressed us from other species.

I did not finish this book, but not for no reason, it seemed to be constantly repeating what I already know now through the various researches I have done regarding the subject.
Talking about how memory affects politics, culture and economic cycles seems almost obvious, also how the memory affects social aspects and our own perception of memories works. It just seemed like I was covering old ground, with little point to follow.
History dictates memory but history cannot exist without memory, I have explored how memory is called and how its part fake, I've covered the meaning of memory, but I have not self analysed my own opinions of memory, and will do so in the next post.

A childhood recollection from DICHTUNG UND WAHRHEIT

This small essay is found in the book "The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, Volume XVII (1917-1919) An Infantile Neurosis and Other Works", this is a small essay on the recollection of memories from childhood. It begins with the explanation of how what we call from as memories is normally a mixture of memories and what we have been told ourselves by a third party and an amalgamation of the two factors creates our memories. He then goes into his earliest memory, one of which is when he is throwing plates and breakables from the kitchen out of his door to the amusement of his neighbours. Afterwards the topic changes to what or why is it that our childhood memories are what they are, not normally important memories some even seen quite superficial. The most important memory you can muster is normally the earliest memory you have, this memory shapes your life and with further psychoanalysis it was evident in one patient that the writer had treated. An expert from the writing: "He was a man of twenty-seven, highly educated and gifted, whose life at that time was entirely filled with a conflict with his mother that affected all his interests, and from the effects of which his capacity for love and his ability to lead an independent existence had suffered greatly. This conflict went far back into his childhood; certainly to his fourth year. Before that he had been a very weakly child, always ailing, and yet that sickly period was glorified into paradise in his memory; for then he had had exclusive, uninterrupted possession of his mother’s affection." It was interesting that the man in question had in fact altered his memories not on the physical level of how he was physically but more so for the nature of his happiness which was obviously from a rooted longing of his mothers affection, this, when removed, became the root of all his problems in later years. after a bit more reading its apparent that, in an event that still occurs today, he had a new baby brother born when he was 4, thus tearing him away from his mothers full affection, this kind of mental behaviour happens today, showing that he human mind, in an infantile state is unaffected by culture or times progression. It turns out that this small blip in his early stages in development, managed to twist him in the later years, he abused his favourite animals, and had a very cruel streak and these were impulses of his tormented childhood, resonating through to his later life. it goes on to express other cases and how that siblings have respect for the brothers and sisters that existed before themselves and direct their anger towards the newcomers, then there is more writings about older brothers acting as farther figures to impose superiority onto the younger and introduce the pecking order, if you will. The writing is basically talking about how what we call a memory is an abstract of what we felt and what we were told about the event, the underlying factors to a memory can be carefully analysed and re-packaged into what is more factual.

This book is an in-depth look at the functions of the human mind and how it might work (nothing is definite in my opinion, more so when mind related) it covers the various ways we view, temporary store and how we perceive what we call memories. I found this, while reading, and thought this might be something you the reader might be interested in. 
This diagram itself is taken by camera from the book itself. 




(Extract, page 106) "Of these different circles of memory, which later we shall study in detail, the smallest, A, is the nearest to immediate perception. It contains only the object O, with the afterimage which comes back and overlies it. Behind it, the larger and larger circles B, C, D correspond to growing efforts at intellectual expansion. Each of these circuits, since memory is always present; but that memory, capable, by reason of its elasticity, of expanding more and more, reflects upon the object a growing number of suggested images - sometimes the details of the object itself, sometimes concomitant details which may throw light upon it". Our memory is a series of information, called when needed to create a memory, the smells feel and images are stored as data and are altered and changed to our perception to fill in the gaps and make our memories feel more real, when in essence, these very memories we rely on are manipulated and edited by our own minds. Different memories are stored and categorized into their own personal sections; this creates a fast and accurate way of collecting the images / audio that we call a memory. With my project, data itself can, slowly corrode, and lose a little of its quality, but as for the events they will remain unchanged, and unlike a our memories with my memory bank, I could pull a memory and look at details that normal people could never remember, like the colour of someone’s shoelaces and how many people stood in the background. Obviously, some of a normal memories soul cannot be captured by any digital means, for example, the smell, the atmosphere and the dynamic sound that we experience in our everyday lives, also texture, again cannot be utilized in this way. But of course the normal memory should be there to assist the digitized memory, this is after all, just body extension not body replacement or perfection. later on, page 155, the book talks about what might happen if one was to live his/her life in a dream state, becoming an conscious automaton, never storing a past and living each day as his entire life through a multitude of infinite possibilities. It's a tough book to read, but provides important information on the possible workings of the brain, and from just reading this, you get a feel for just how complex the memory really is and this then helps strengthen my desire to make sure that if I am to lose my memory then I shall be able to at least look through the images, video and audio and assure myself that I have existed and have left, even if small, a mark on the world. I suppose this all falls down to another big fear in my life, and that’s to live my life and not leave my mark, I'd hate to not be remembered, I'm not totally sure what part of the psyche that this falls down too but I have a big fear of being forgotten or maybe that my life, even if it’s obvious, might just be meaningless on a greater scale. Maybe has a close relation to my fear of death, I only fear death when I think about what I might be missing, and I suppose as a child I used to think that way, and today too, some days I just want to go out of the house, in case I'm missing something fun or interesting, normally I end up complaining about how I wasted my time but if I was to stay in I'd go out of my mind trying to work out what I'm missing... Anyway got a little sidetracked.

Freud "Mystic Writing Pad"

The srandard Edition of the Complete psychological Works of Sigmmund Freud
Volume XIX (1923-1925)
The Ego and the Id and Other Works.

Frued looks upon a simple device, pictured below:

The memory is a device that in Freud’s hypothesis is something that can gain new data and store old, he makes comparisons between different methods and how they stack up to our own "Perceptual System" For example, a piece of paper is great, you write on it and the paper stores your memories indefinitely, and unlike out memories they do not get manipulated and changed over time, but as your aware you will run out of space and cannot write any more without a new piece of paper. Slate and chalk are different, we can write all the memories we want and store what we want, and when the space is full we can simply erase the writings that are of little to no interest to us anymore. Only problem is the memories we erase are lost for good, the only thing Freud could relate our brains storage system to is the mystic writing pad shown in the image above. This pad can take notes, when your done with them erase them from your indefinite memory that’s always active, then write another, but unlike the other methods, once you remove the page and look at the wax*(1) layer in which supports the writing, you have indents that when observed in the right light reveal the many messages you have written. And it's this method that Freud believes is the way our "perceptual System" works, by storing masses of data that become part of our framework. His theory falls to this quote, "If we imagine one hand writing upon the surface of the Mystic Writing-Pad while another periodically raises its covering-sheet from the wax slab, we shall have a concrete representation of the way in which I tried to picture the functioning of the perceptual apparatus of our mind."

 *(1) The wax he is referring to is the 3rd layer, first layer is a very thin layer of plastic, then second layer is a cellouse substance to help the sheet keep its shape and not crumple easily, third layer is a wax like substance that presses and creates the dark shades in the indents that represent brush strokes.